It is not a matter of liking her or not liking her. I don't give a shit about her. She might be fine. Fine is not what I strive for. Fine will get us nothing. It will win no battles and claim no ground in the battle toward true change and progress, of which the Chantry must surely and regrettably play a part, for however long as the masses cling to its authority and teachings.
Agathe does not dare enough. I don't plan this as punishment. Everything dies. With hers, we stand a greater chance to see some movement toward something real. We push her supporters toward our choice, and we winnow out those too weak or choleric to make that choice. They can't go for Benedetta if she is behind Agathe's death. They can't choose the others. Where do they go?
I don't want to say make you think, because I know you've thought about this a lot. It's meant to - make you uncomfortable about your decisions, I guess.
I guess that depends on whether or not you think you ought to be completely comfortable about your decisions at all times. In my opinion, a revolutionary never ought to be completely certain about what they're doing.
[ She takes a breath, and lets it out, trying to figure out how to articulate this. ]
I think - there's no such thing as a right answer. Not completely right. All there is in the world is the best of a lot of choices. So you've always got to keep yourself tormented by all those other possibilities, always thinking - but what if this is the wrong one? What if this other one's better? 'Cause if you end up totally sure you're doing the right thing, and never think about it, you'll end up - [ To take an example totally at random - ] Nothing but a lot of greedy thieves, enriching yourselves and convincing yourselves you're doing it for the people.
[The other thing about opinions is, Kitty has proved to have ones along the right lines. Which means that Nikos actually listens, which is more than most usually get.
Hm.]
And how is it you keep from lingering in torment, and never getting anything done.
[ That question gets a bit of wryness in return: ]
Honestly, Nikos, can you really imagine yourself ever possibly lingering paralyzed in torment? I don't think that's ever going to be a problem for you. You're far too determined.
[He grunts. But it's an amused grunt, and so close to a laugh.]
It's the wine. And the fifteen years of steeping in disappointed and frustrated misery, that helps to adds an extra measure of clarity as well. Answer for yourself instead. How is it that you know to move on something, and stop yourself from standing on the threshold?
This is a new theory for me. I haven't exactly had the opportunity to test it out yet. But - [ More decisively: ] I don't drink wine, but I've had seventeen years of disappointed and frustrated misery. So that's enough to give me a kick in the rear if it's needed, I fancy.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 12:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 12:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 12:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 12:21 am (UTC)[is that better and plainer]
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 12:25 am (UTC)Her - death? Is - Are you going to...?
[ kill...her...? ]
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 06:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-23 12:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-25 08:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-25 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-25 10:02 pm (UTC)Agathe does not dare enough. I don't plan this as punishment. Everything dies. With hers, we stand a greater chance to see some movement toward something real. We push her supporters toward our choice, and we winnow out those too weak or choleric to make that choice. They can't go for Benedetta if she is behind Agathe's death. They can't choose the others. Where do they go?
no subject
Date: 2019-03-26 11:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-28 02:15 am (UTC)Fucking unlikely.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-28 02:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-28 02:58 am (UTC)Is this meant to stop me?
no subject
Date: 2019-03-31 03:36 pm (UTC)[ She puffs out a breath. ]
I don't want to say make you think, because I know you've thought about this a lot. It's meant to - make you uncomfortable about your decisions, I guess.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-31 08:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-31 08:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-31 08:48 pm (UTC)[Which is usually good, but.]
Why do you believe there ought to be such uncertainty?
no subject
Date: 2019-03-31 08:53 pm (UTC)[ She takes a breath, and lets it out, trying to figure out how to articulate this. ]
I think - there's no such thing as a right answer. Not completely right. All there is in the world is the best of a lot of choices. So you've always got to keep yourself tormented by all those other possibilities, always thinking - but what if this is the wrong one? What if this other one's better? 'Cause if you end up totally sure you're doing the right thing, and never think about it, you'll end up - [ To take an example totally at random - ] Nothing but a lot of greedy thieves, enriching yourselves and convincing yourselves you're doing it for the people.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-31 09:22 pm (UTC)Hm.]
And how is it you keep from lingering in torment, and never getting anything done.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-31 09:26 pm (UTC)Honestly, Nikos, can you really imagine yourself ever possibly lingering paralyzed in torment? I don't think that's ever going to be a problem for you. You're far too determined.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-31 10:31 pm (UTC)It's the wine. And the fifteen years of steeping in disappointed and frustrated misery, that helps to adds an extra measure of clarity as well. Answer for yourself instead. How is it that you know to move on something, and stop yourself from standing on the threshold?
no subject
Date: 2019-03-31 11:19 pm (UTC)[ She hesitates a moment, then confesses: ]
This is a new theory for me. I haven't exactly had the opportunity to test it out yet. But - [ More decisively: ] I don't drink wine, but I've had seventeen years of disappointed and frustrated misery. So that's enough to give me a kick in the rear if it's needed, I fancy.
no subject
Date: 2019-04-01 04:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-01 11:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
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